Songwriting has taken a bit of a back seat lately…but things are changing…

Presbyterian kisses

Mary had a ten grand Cartier watch

She kept it under her bed

It was a present from her late ex husband

Before he was dead

Ronnie was somewhat greasy

But he met a dreadful fate

Burned to death in a chip-pan fire

Which seemed appropriate

Mary Mary I can offer you only this

Presbyterian kisses

She used to smoke Marlboro Lights

Flicked the ash off with a snap

She said I know these things’ll kill me

But I don’t care about that.

She liked Seven Up and sulphate

The sound of taxis in the rain

Her favourite kind of holiday

Was having sex on aeroplanes

Chorus

Now that we are married all is well

For now that I have rescued her from hell

She fills me with the greatest exultation

She shares it with the congregation

She likes Carlsberg Special

And cask strength whisky, neat

She wears Manolo Blahnik shoes

Upon her lovely feet

I took her to the church one day

So we could kneel and pray

She pleasured me upon a pew

I found I quite liked it that way

Presbyterian kisses

Presbyterian bliss…

Copyright Tom Morton, 2004.