I would truly and honestly like to apologise to the operator and supervisor at the Scottish Ambulance Service in Inverness, at whom I have just shouted angrily. But good grief, if sending emergency ambulances out to parts of Shetland is your job, some basic knowledge of the islands’ geography might be a good idea. And if I can find a postcode by going to 192.com, surely, dear hearts, you can too.

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