I pass this on without comment as part of my avowed purpose – to inform, entertain and speculate about what the hell is actually going on here…it’s like some sort of abstruse code…

A great Chinese meal last night at Chow in Byres Road (unreservedly recommended) and I’m now in Aberdeen, after a truly monstrous journey which involved tripping (not in a chemical sense)at Hillhead Underground station and falling right into the arms of an unsuspecting five-foot-three-inch man who was trying to get off the train; then, despite arriving in plenty of time at Queen Street for the Aberdeen train, Scotrail waited until three minutes before departure before announcing the platform. Mayhem ensued. Once on the train, I found myself squashed amongst the gargantuan quantity of luggage belonging to two American couples heading for Inverness. All of it had to be packed away, and then unpacked at Perth so they could get off and change trains. All this while the Grumpiest Conductor On Earth made increasingly fraught announcements, the trolley woman ran over my feet (I was in one of those side-facing seats) and fights broke out over reserved seating.

Finally I fell asleep (in Dundee) and didn’t wake up again until Stonehaven. I had been, you will be delighted to know, open-mouthed, dribbling and very probably snoring. But did I care? Do I care? Nope.