Sunday mornings, the frying pans come out (cast iron, cleaned only in hot water, no detergent) and it’s time for The Full Zetlandic. Or The Partial, as I have seen gargantuan Shetland morning repasts which include fried smoked salmon and fried beans, plus of course the fried bannock, sassermeat (saucermeat) black pudding, bacon, eggs and indeed anything else cookable that happens to be in the vicinity. Including lamb’s liver, which is, I have to say, delicious. But not with salmon.
Anyway, we have a thing about sausages and bacon in this house. We are purists, but not in any TV chefbastard kind of way. We only like cheap industrial sausages, particularly Richmond’s Irish recipe. We hate pretentious sausages, particularly those ‘Finest’ brands you get, which are always full of sour gristle and take far too long to cook. And when it comes to bacon, none of your dry-cured nonsense. Streaky, unsmoked and cheap is best, fried to crunchy hardness.
But – and it’s a big ‘but’ – the accompaniments have to be right. No pickles, mustards or chutneys. HP Original from a glass bottle (recently re-introduced metal cap is tremendously satisfying in use) and Heinz Tomato from anything (doesn’t seem to be affected by plastic).
Of such simple things is the perfect All Saints Day constructed…
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