I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode of Simon King’s Shetland Diaries, despite the fakery and the wide-eyed southern wonderment at things we tend to take for granted here in The Great Bog.

First, let me say that it is fantastic to see what a professional filming team (and it was a team; there was a full crew there much of the time, apart from Simon and his wife) can do with Shetland’s wildlife. I was stunned by the Orca and Bonxie/Tirrick chick attack footage, the otters were great and it was instructive to see the painstaking and dangerous preparations for filming the gannet nests.

The ‘human’ stuff was another matter. That ‘cottage’ they toured with a view to renting wasn’t a rental house at all. It’s the Nesbister camping ‘bod’, an Amenity Trust cheap and cheerful tourist crash pad backpackers can hire by the night. That was our very own, highly local Northmavine Up Helly Aa, not the main (much less fun) event in Lerwick that attracts worldwide interest. And alas, Simon didn’t realise just how much the piss was being ripped out of him by making him dress up as Kate Humble. Oh, and please, that tern-with-the-broken-wing tearjerker: Give us a break! Force that man to watch Local Hero several times. “We have an injured rabbit in the car…” Yum yum…

I’ll be interested to watch the next episodes to see if they reflect how much time the King family seemed to spend in Frankie’s Chip Shop – good move, by the way; those are GREAT fish suppers – and also to see if the more urban (and urbane) aspects of Shetland life are reflected. The Kings’ landlord is a pal of ours. He is also a lawyer and expert classical guitarist, not just a shearer of sheep.