Too many dogs 

There’s too many dogs

There’s too many dogs in Troon

Plastic bags in the

South Beach dunes

Too many dogs in Troon

A French bulldog and a Bichon Frise

A Labradoodle and a Pekinese

Owned by men in shorts with chilblained knees

Too many dogs in Troon

Golfers with their little gloves

Swingers looking for a little love

Airedales looking for their balls in the rough

Too many dogs in Troon

Chorus

Old people on electric bikes

Towed by Rottweilers named Spike

That’s a bit unsportsmanlike

Too many dogs in Troon

Kite surfers flying through the air

Watched by Romanian au pairs

And Alsatians in complete despair

Too many dogs in Troon

Chorus

Too many aeroplanes

Too many tourists on their way to Spain

Special forces heading to Ukraine 

Too many dogs in Troon

20 gift shops, not a single bank

It’s dangerous to be quite frank

XL Bullies on the Ballast Bank

Too Many Dogs in Troon

Too many dogs, there’s too many dogs

There’s Too many dogs in Troon

I’m going to move back to Kilmarnock soon

Too many dogs in Troon

Music and lyrics copyright 2024, Elvis Voe’s Fitful Head