The fury of culturally-fleeced Shetland knitters. And two songs, loosely woven around the subject.

Channel Four’s horrible attempt to turn knitting into a televisual bloodsport, Game of Wool, is subtitled ‘Britain’s best Knitter’. I can unequivocally say that there are technically better and more creative knitters than anyone on the show, including the judges, within a few miles of my house.

I live, of course, in the Shetland Islands, and since Game of Wool’s first cartoon attempt to traduce thousands of years of island culture, a growing tidal wave of rage has been building against the programme’s producers and the broadcaster itself. Even presenter Tom Daly is struggling to keep his head above the furious waters.

The casual misuse by the show – its professional judges should know better – of terms like ‘Fair Isle’ has now led to calls for legal protection for Shetland knitting as a geographically specific craft. Alas, attempts in the past by the late lamented Shetland Knitwear Trades Association to restrict the use of terms like’Shetland’ and ‘Fair Isle’ to locally-made garments and wool from island sheep have come to naught.

It will be interesting to see if the new and militant pride in Shetland-Knitwear-from-Shetland gathers support. There was a time when the Westminster Parliament took the issue very seriously indeed. As you can read in this 1952 excerpt from Hansard. The late Jo Grimond’s depth of knowledge and commitment remains hugely impressive.

https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1952/apr/28/shetland-knitting-industry

“I do not deny, in fact I stress that, in this respect—the protection of its name—Shetland needs special treatment. It will in fact need Government action. But such action would be justified because it is an industry which, I think, is unique. I think that we can make a case for special treatment; in my submission we merit special treatment. My case is that such treatment is equitable, for surely the Shetlanders should have some copyright in their products, in that which is their own. Shetland knit-wear is known the world over, and that reputation was earned by the Shetlanders themselves. Therefore, it is surely something which they are entitled to protect.”

Meanwhile, have a couple of glib and superficial songs: