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The holiday cottage we rent out is the oldest habitable house in Shetland and the most radioactive (radon gas from the granite it huddles in) but at least the rats can’t handle the bequerels. Ovo Energy want to install a ‘smart’ electricity meter “between 12 and 4” so I’m there with Hugo the Italian Bloodhound,…
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At last, a break in the weather. 10 days of gales, fierce before that, more grim stuff to come. But a lovely calm, cold morning and consequently a peaceful dog who just wants to sniff along the Urafirth beach. I call them Loki’s Candles, one of the traditional Shetland names, but they’re also known as…
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New York, Newark, Nuuk: we’re off to GreenlandPack some semi automatic gunsWe hunted Polar Bears out in NewfoundlandBut Jared’s shot all the Canadian onesWe’ll spend like dollar vikings, with no exchange rateNow Greenland is the 52nd stateOr if you need to get some summer sunRelax by the Mediterranean SeaThose Europeans are no funI can’t understand…
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It is a beautiful, still winter’s day here on Shetland’s sea-ground. Atween wadders, between weathers, as the saying goes, because we’re not heading into spring yet and there’s bad Scandinavian stuff huffing and puffing in the predictions. The brutal blizzards of a fortnight past gave way to deluges and flooding, then the kind of unremitting…
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And so to Greenland my fellow Americans Were going in to save the penguins Don’t tell me there are no penguins there I’ve seen them flying through the air With their rainbow beaks and their stubby wings They’re really very beautiful things Like me though obviously I’m taller And I can’t fly as my hands…
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“Going to see the lights.” Not to see the ceremonial switching-on of Glasgow’s Christmas illuminations, but just to witness the multicoloured glare of George Square; we were easily astounded in the monochrome 1960s. But for my parents, survivors of a blacked-out wartime childhood, the profligate use of electricity to turn Scotland’s winter darkness into a…
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Last Beatcroft before Christmas, and from Glasgow I wish everyone a happy and satisfying Christmas, especially when it comes to sustenance. Moderation in all things other than turkey. This song was inspired by a recent photograph of one of Shetland’s weel-kent politicians. Like many on the celebrity circuit, this individual appears to have lost a…


