Some verses regarding fashionable canines

This was provoked by the sheer number of so-called hypoallergenic dogs (mutt breeds that either don’t shed their hair, or have little or none of the stuff) currently having their organic vegetarian excrement scraped off the Troon promenade. Our rescue sheepdog/Staffie cross Dexter is nothing like as hairy as the previous canine incumbents. Two in-house St Bernards led to giant tumbleweeds of hair birling about the homestead. Six years after the last one (Rug) left us, we’re still finding dried drool and Swiss dogfluff in corners. So much for The Power of Dyson…

Anyway…

They’ve got a Bichon Frise 

Named Elouise

She wears a Mulberry collar

And she looks so cute

In her waterproof boots

But she never comes when they call her

She can sit, roll over, give a paw and beg

While biting the gas meter reader’s leg

She’s a hypoallergenic dog

I know a standard Poodle

Who eats nothing but noodles

And Kobe beef poached in vintage wine

He’s quite happy

He wears a nappy

Sits watching Hey Duggee on TV all the time

He barks all night and won’t go out if it’s raining

They’re having trouble with the toilet training

He’s a hypoallergenic dog

Shih Tzus, Labradoodles

Schnauzers and poodles

Yorkies, Chihuahuas, Afghan Hounds

They don’t shed their hair

Or else it isn’t there

Your nose won’t run when they’re around

If they eat your Belgian chocolates don’t be tearful

After an enema, canines can be quite cheerful

Because they’re hypoallergenic dogs

Vegetarians

Pescatarians

Their owners say they’re dairy and  gluten-free

At drinking natural wines

They tend to draw a line

For some things you’d risk a few allergies

Anyway, the kids were desperate for a pet

So they took out insurance with the vet

And bought a hypoallergenic dog