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The psychopathic administration of the Lochgelly tawse… Mrs Kemmet came from Hell She had a foul and smoky smell Her voice rasped like an electric drill I heard mum say that she was ill But she was assuredly alive When she hit me at the age of five The sorest blow I ever felt A…
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Text and audio, with a midsummer playlist inspired by recent reading and viewing. From recent records by Wet Leg, Leaf Rapids and Miley Cyrus to more elderly fare by AC/DC, Zeppelin and Floyd Dixon, The first Spotify link is me reading the text below, and is six minutes long. The second lasts two hours and…
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When childhood was all about risk You can listen to me reading the text below (the real me, no AI involved) by clicking on the play button above. It lasts about seven minutes. I once found a gun, propped against a tree in Fullerton Woods. It was an American air rifle designed not to fire…
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An Alfa Romeo, A Mini, a Chevrolet and a famous Aston Martin. Remake, remodel…look for the two screws underneath, and don’t lose the tyres… My first car was an Alfa Romeo Alfetta 158/159, but at first I didn’t know its name. It was red, crude, had a fading number eight in white at the rear.…
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From religion to Alfa Romeo Alfettas and satellite launch sites. Artificial Intelligence will suck a writer dry, and then make mistakes… Just to be clear, this is me talking. Or writing. Straight to keyboard, brain to fingers via voicebox, because I speak my writing. Quietly, for the most part. I get strange glances on trains.…
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Four lyrics from and associated with the Holy Waters Songbook…healthy nutrition in the West of Scotland! When my book Holy Waters was published a couple of years ago (winner, Fortnum and Mason Awards, Drink Book of the Year, last time I’ll mention this, promise) I put together a wee group of songs and poems that…
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Two poems and a song. And trying to send some books. You can listen to the two poems below, read by me, by clicking on the arrow above. Or, for that matter, below. I’ve been trying to send some books to the USA. Extremely valuable, antique rarities that I’m selling for a friend. An American…
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A poem and sweet suburban playlist, with pure plastic pop for now (and then) people You can listen to me reading the following essay and poem by clicking on the wee arrow above. There’s an hour-and-a-half ‘Sweet Suburbia’ playlist towards the end, with a spoken introduction on Mixcloud and the Spotify link too. THE LATE…
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Including Les Vomiteurs, The Ubiquitous Chip, Two Fat Ladies at The Buttery, lost curry houses and, well…Lochgreen House Hotel in Troon… You can listen to me reading the following text here: The worst meal I’ve ever had was at a café I’ll call Les Vomiteurs in the then seriously untrendy, ungentrified, occasionally unsafe area of…
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The musical frenzy that was Glasgow in the mid-1980s My photographer pal Stewart Cunningham and I are currently working on a wee photobook about our couple of years in the mid-1980s snapping and writing in Glasgow for the late music weekly Melody Maker. Here’s a taster. ‘Caught Up In This Big Rhythm’,will be available in…
